The BA Side: Moses Didn't Fail, He Got Tired

Podcast
Written by Liv Lewis

Moses had the staff of God in his hand. He was right where God called him to be. And his arms still got tired.

If you’re feeling alone during divorce, carrying the kids, the bills, the lawyer and the house while telling everyone “I got it,” this first episode of the BA Side was made for you. The BA Side is the faith based Bible study companion to the Livd Divorce Stories podcast, for Christian women walking through divorce. BA stands for Biblical Application. We take a Livd Truth from the podcast, open the Word of God, and talk about what it means for real life. You don’t have to be divorced to pull up a chair.

This week's truth comes from Tonya Poindexter's episode and her Livd truth “stop being so strong, stop keeping people at arm's length.”

Exodus 17 meaning: what Aaron and Hur teach Christian women going through divorce

In Exodus 17, Israel wins the battle at Rephidim only while Moses keeps his hands raised. When his arms give out, Aaron and Hur find him a stone to sit on and hold his hands steady until sunset. Liv's read on it: "Moses didn't fail. Moses just got tired. And there's a difference."

They didn't fight the battle for him. They didn't take the staff. "That's what your people are for. Not to fight your battle, but to hold you up while you fight it." And when it was over, Moses didn't build a monument to himself. He named the altar Yahweh Nissi. The Lord is my banner.

Matthew 26 and Gethsemane: even Jesus asked His friends to stay near

On the hardest night of His ministry, Jesus took Peter, James and John into Gethsemane and asked them to keep watch with Him (Matthew 26:38). He leaned on the Father. An angel strengthened Him (Luke 22). And He still brought His people.

1 Peter 5:8 and why isolation during divorce is a spiritual trap

First Peter 5:8 describes the enemy as a lion looking for someone to devour. Liv points out how a lion actually hunts: it waits for the one who wandered off alone, tired, thinking she's got it. Then come the lies. God left you. Nobody cares. You're on your own. "That, my love, is not the voice of God. That's the voice of isolation."

And she's clear about this: if you're dealing with depression, getting help from a therapist or doctor or getting medication is not weak faith. Those are your Aaron and your Hur too.

How to find faith community after divorce: start, stop, continue

  • Start praying for the right people. Start paying attention to character, whether someone says what they'll do and does it, and how they show up in person, not just online. Then take the hard first step and say, "Can you help me unpack this?"

  • Stop doubting people will show up. Stop stonewalling the ones already calling and praying for you. Stop saying "I got it" when you know you don't.

  • Continue running to your board of directors. Companies and corporations have boards, and as Liv has said on the pod before, people should too. Hers includes the one who keeps it a buck, the one who'll fast and pray and cry with her, the one who picks up at 2:34am, and the one she called from the corner of 7th Avenue and 27th Street the morning it hit her that her marriage was over. Above all of them, she has the One, the One who knew all her dirt and died for her anyway.

"You can't do battle by yourself. You were never designed to. You need community. You heal in community." Liv Lewis, LivdTruth

Bible verses in this episode

All scripture is read from the New Living Translation (NLT).

  • Exodus 17:8 to 16. Israel battles Amalek at Rephidim. Aaron and Hur hold up Moses' arms until sunset, and Moses names the altar Yahweh Nissi, the Lord is my banner.

  • Matthew 26:38. In Gethsemane, Jesus asks Peter, James and John to stay and keep watch with Him.

  • Luke 22:43. An angel from heaven appears and strengthens Jesus in the garden.

  • 1 Peter 5:8. Stay alert, because the enemy prowls like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

  • Ecclesiastes 4:12. Two can stand back to back, and a triple braided cord is not easily broken.

Also mentioned: Moses standing before Pharaoh (Exodus 5 to 12), the parting of the Red Sea (Exodus 14), and Moses as the friend of God (Exodus 33:11).

In this episode

  • 0:00 Moses had the staff of God, and his arms still got tired

  • 0:10 Welcome to the BA Side

  • 0:41 Tonya Poindexter's truth: stop being so strong

  • 1:24 Exodus 17:8 to 16: Moses, Aaron and Hur at Rephidim

  • 3:20 Moses didn't fail. Moses got tired.

  • 4:10 Exodus 17:15, Yahweh Nissi: the Lord is my banner

  • 4:23 Matthew 26:38 and Luke 22:43: the garden of Gethsemane

  • 5:30 1 Peter 5:8: the lion and the voice of isolation

  • 6:30 Getting help is not weak faith

  • 6:43 Start, stop, continue

  • 8:00 Liv's “Board of Directors” and the 7th Avenue meltdown

  • 9:18 Above all of them, the One who died for me anyway.

  • 9:44 Ecclesiastes 4:12: a triple braided cord and your assignment

Common questions this episode answers

What does it mean that Aaron and Hur held up Moses' arms?

  • In Exodus 17, Moses had to keep his hands raised for Israel to win, and he got tired. Aaron and Hur gave him a stone to sit on and held his arms up until sunset. It's a picture of community: your people don't fight your battle for you, they hold you up while you fight it.

What Bible verses help when you feel alone during divorce?

  • This episode leans on Exodus 17:8 to 16, Matthew 26:38, Luke 22:43, 1 Peter 5:8 and Ecclesiastes 4:12. Together they say even the strongest believers needed people, isolation makes you vulnerable, and a triple braided cord is not easily broken.

Is going to therapy a sign of weak faith?

  • Liv's answer is no. Seeing a therapist or doctor, or taking medication, is one way God sends your Aaron and Hur. Faith and professional care can work together.

How do I know who to trust after divorce?

  • Watch actions over words. Notice whether someone does what they say, how their character holds up, and how they show up in person, not just online. Then start small by sharing one honest thing and seeing how it's held.

What should I do if I don't have anyone to lean on right now?

  • Start by praying for the right people to come into your life this week. Then say yes to the ones already reaching out, and look for community spaces built for where you are.

Is there a Christian podcast for women going through divorce?

  • Yes. The BA Side is the faith based companion to Livd Divorce Stories, a podcast for Black and Brown women navigating separation and divorce. Each episode pairs a truth from the show with scripture and real life application.

What does the Bible say about not going through hard times alone?

  • Scripture returns to it again and again, and it points us to the Lord, our Comforter, Helper and Savior.

What is a personal board of directors?

  • It's the small circle of people you bring the good, the bad and the ugly to. Companies and corporations have boards, and people should too. Liv's includes the one who tells the hard truth, the one who prays with her, and the one who answers at 2:34am.

This episode is a faith reflection and personal story, not medical, mental health or pastoral counseling. If you're in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 in the US, or reach out to a licensed professional.

Mentioned in this episode

Tonya Poindexter is the author of The Aftermath: What Nobody Tells Black Women About Life After Divorce, a guide to rebuilding your finances, identity, relationships and peace. Hear her full story in her Livd Divorce Stories episode.

Starting from scratch? Grab the Divorce Starter Checklist available on the home page.

For additional support:

Connect with Livd Stories:

Connect with Tonya Poindexter

  • LinkedIn: Tonya Poindexter

  • Instagram: @writer_queent

  • LinkedIn: Write Touch Publishing

  • Instagram: @writetouchpublishing

  • Facebook: Write Touch Publishing

Liv Lewis
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The House Was in My Name and I Still Lost It: What Nobody Tells Black Women About Life After Divorce