Nobody's Coming to Save You: Reclaiming Your Identity After Loss with Monique Carkum Edwards
What happens when everything you built your identity on, your marriage, your title, your carefully constructed life, falls apart? In this raw and transformative conversation, host Liv Lewis sits down with Monique Carkum Edwards, Esq., corporate attorney, pastor, and author of "The Snatchback: Reclaiming Your Life One Truth at a Time" to explore the messy middle of separation, divorce, and life transitions.
After experiencing her own divorce in 2020 and a career-shaking layoff in 2024, Liv knows firsthand what it means to lose your anchor. Together, Liv and Monique dismantle the illusion that our worth is tied to roles like wife, mother, or executive, and reveal the dangerous equation society teaches us: do the right things, check the boxes, achieve happiness.
This episode tackles the uncomfortable truths about identity crisis, grief without timelines, and why the people who broke you aren't coming back to fix you. Monique introduces a groundbreaking framework distinguishing purpose (what you can't help doing), calling (the container for your purpose), and assignment (the temporary role or title), explaining why your purpose is portable, even when everything else falls away.
Guest: Monique Carkum Edwards
5 Livd Takeaways:
Your Identity Isn't Your Title, Understand Purpose vs. Calling vs. Assignment: Most women anchor their identity to roles (wife, executive, mother) that are actually just temporary assignments. Your purpose is what you can't help doing regardless of where you are. Your calling is the container for that purpose. Your assignment is the specific job or role. When you separate these, you realize your purpose is portable—it has legs and goes with you everywhere.
Nobody's Coming to Save You; Become Your Own Hero: The boss who pushed you out, the ex who hurt you, the people who broke you—they're not coming back to fix you. Broken people break other people, often without even realizing it. You have the agency and authority to start putting your life back together. Stop waiting for rescue and start being your own hero.
Grief Has No Timeline; And That's Okay: Healing isn't linear; it's a spiral. You go up, crash back down, spiral, then go back up again. As long as you can see net progress over time, you're on the right path. Most people can't sit with you in discomfort—they want you to "get over it" because your grief makes them uncomfortable. Find people who can simply hold your hand in silence.
Soul Care Comes Before Your Next Move: Before you jump into the next job, relationship, or opportunity, strengthen your soul (mind, will, emotions) first. Start small: 10 minutes of journaling, 5 minutes of uplifting music, 7 minutes of reading something motivational. Practice the four spiritual disciplines—word, worship, fasting, and prayer—to reconnect with yourself and create space for real transformation.
Sometimes You Weren't Fired,You Were Induced: Not every loss is because someone did you wrong. Sometimes you were a baby staying too long in the womb, and the rough exit was God inducing you into your next season. Like the Israelites who grew in Egypt but needed to be pushed out, sometimes we need dramatic disruption to move us from where we're comfortable to where we're called.
Guest Bio: Monique Carkum Edwards is a corporate attorney, pastor, and author of "The Snatchback: Reclaiming Your Life, One Truth at a Time." She specializes in helping women navigate identity crises and life transitions with grace, grit, and godly wisdom.
Resources mentioned:
Books Discussed In This Episode:
Connect with Monique:
Join the Livd Community: https://www.livd.co/membership
Subscribe to the Livd Newsletter: https://www.livd.co/newsletter
Need Guidance? Learn about coaching packages here: https://www.livd.co/coaching
Connect with Livd Stories:
IG: @livdstories
Website: https://www.livd.co/